Knit is a Four-Letter Word

Holidailies prompt: What are you most looking forward to this holiday season?

It’s not that I’m not looking forward to this holiday season. I’m an atheist, so I’m a (usually) firm believer in not wishing my life away, since it’s the only one I get to have. And I (usually) love this time of year. All of the sparkly lights, the good food, the socializing with friends and family, the giving and getting of gifts, the break from work, all of the traditions that come along with this time of year.

I’ve spent the past fourteen holiday seasons in the Northern Hemisphere, in my own house, building a life and traditions. A new ornament every year, buying treats for my cats’ stockings, going to a succession of parties and gatherings with my friends, and groups, and family.

This year, though, I’m still drifting, unsettled. Even though I’ve been reconnecting with the Southern Hemisphere. Tonight was my first Christmas party of the season; the end-of-year gathering for the wildlife rescue I’ve been volunteering for. It was fun; Igot to dress up, eat good food (barramundi for mains, chocolate sachertorte for dessert) with a glass of wine, and chat to kind and interesting people. I even got a giftie from the head of the organisation – she made a game of it for all of us, with a numbered ornament that resulted in a gift for every attendee. I got Balfour’s Mince Pies, a tasty treat from a South Australian Baking Institution. We got to keep our wee ornaments; mine is a hot pink spiral.

And I’m part of the family Kris Kingle; we’ll be gathering on Christmas Day for the luncheon feast and the Kris Kringle swap. My plan is to make a scarf, as I’ve seen the accessories of the person I’ve been gifted, so I know just what to make.

And this will be the first Christmas I’ve been physically in the same space as my niece, V. She’s 7 now, and it’ll be fun to see her reaction to my giftie, in person, rather than as the far-away Auntie on the Skype.

So it really isn’t that I’m not looking forward to this holiday season, as some of the traditions are starting to come into place.

I’m really looking more forward to Christmas 2013.

Where I’ll have a job, and can happily luxuriate in the Christmas break.
When I’ll have a car, so I can drive myself to and from the family and friend gatherings.
When I’ll be in the same place as all of my stuff; so I can wake up on Christmas morning in my own bed.
Where I’ll be in the same place as my cats; so I can give them their treats that I’ve collected in their stocking.
Where I’ll be in my own place; so I can put up my tree (real or fake), and I can add the new ornament from that year, and ones from years past.

Where I’ll be past this first new anniversary of a now different Christmas, and where the sparkly lights and the good food and all of the rest of the traditions will be building on my future, and where I can put the sadness away, and look back on all I used to most look forward to with fondness, and all I have to look forward to with joy.